The Color of Pomegranates, 1968
by Sergei Parajanov. The works of Armenian poet Sayat Nova, made visual.
this is only skin
- I suggest you do not exist in it
as if sentenced
- break it as you wish.
"For a boy to look like a girl is degrading, because you think that being a girl is degrading, but secretly you’d love to know what it’s like, wouldn’t you?”
Larry Bell, “Phenomenal: California Light, Space, Surface” at the Museum of Contemporary Art San Diego
And today I feel totally melancholy. I’m finna post on my tumblr in the hopes it can act like a sketchbook
I used to really enjoy tumblr as a way of archiving thoughts
My boss showed me this artist: idyrself.com
she has a passage: But where does that leave us? Are we losing the richness of our experiences and memories because we know we can depend on blurry iPhone photos to supplement our memories? The art of describing something is lost to the digital artifact of a real experience. A great example of this is going to a concert and watching the audience hold their phones up to record the show. They are looking at a real experience mediated through their machines, capturing evidence to remember something by, remaining outside of the present moment to capture a document of the experience. We are so used to these mediated experiences that we feel the need to perpetuate them, to capture this evidence, proof that we were there.
they’re all so descriptive, the passages, her writing, of how digital tools function in our personal lives. It’s so perfect.
Right now, on this evening, I have a perception that I’m lacking in positive vibes. It’s probably because I’m coming down from an Oxy
My friend confronted me that maybe I have a problem. that pill addiction is the most common form of drug addiction. I don’t think he needs to worry about me but it still feels funny that I use it
I feel like most of the time the shit that I do doesn’t matter and that it’s embarrassing and laughable. I hope no one that would judge me would see this but I guess at the same time fuck them who cares
I opened a gallery so I could feel like I was doing something I believed in so I could feel like I was participating in something that I cared about. So I could force passion out of myself
I like studying visual culture; I study architecture. I think it’s because I deluded myself into thinking it could help society. I have this sneaking suspicion that people who are important in the scene would laugh at that conception and actively avoid the question of societal improvement.
sometimes I feel ineloquent. oftentimes, actually.
today I fumbled with a conversation with my best friend. I didn’t think it was helpful to either of us. I think it faltered because I tried too hard to make it seem like I cared that I forgot to actually empathize
the problem was I felt like I couldn’t empathize and that really frightens me
sometimes I feel like I just don’t get it; that I’m behind and there’s no hope for me that’s it, I’m irrelevant. boom.
I think I’m too sensitive and I care too much about other people’s opinions.
I hope I can do a good job with displaying people’s artwork and I hope I was useful to them and that they were happy to have the opportunity
that’s my goal. that I do a good job of supporting their work. that I become a valuable resource for artists and what they believe in
but sometimes it feels like the art crowd isn’t for me that it’s full of unfeeling people that are often too jaded to feel positively about things
I question how supportive of a scene it is - often I’m not getting positive vibes from them and I’d rather hang out with my boring ‘non-art’ friends
Design is fine but it’s full of boring people who don’t know anything about feeling
Art is full of people who think they know more than they do
I wish I felt more earnestness with people in the art world. That people are actually trying and care - maybe I’m being naive
I love looking at artwork and I love thinking about it and maybe the things I think about are not valuable or respectable to other people but who cares fuck them I love it I feel like it’s amazing and I’m trying at least to keep working on that passion to make sure that it leads to a sustainable future of contentment - it’s what matters to me
I guess I can only hope that if I try hard enough eventually someone will catch on and feel something of the way I do
that there’ll be a sense of “yeah, I get you, I dig it, we don’t feel lonely because we at least think the same way about this, this thing we both really love”
I want to be corny and spread love and pos vibes and jive with some pals - so that we can all feel okay that life and this earth are okay and not threatening
I guess stay positive man, all that negative stuff is a dead end, a waste of time. Who cares if people don’t get why you’re positive at least you’re positive
you make fun of people too who you feel like are silly for being positive but who cares they’re positive and if they’re not hurting anyone who cares
there’s enough pos vibes for everyone